page 2, Queen of Miserable

"Hello reading I am Yvette swans and I will be your narrator throughout this books since it my autobiography it might as well be my voice leading you through my life. I got up early; 6:30am to be exact, and I hate getting up early because it makes me miserable so it was the perfect time to awaken. I combed my hair and ate my breakfast of plain quick oats oatmeal; which I dislike by the way. And stumbled to the door and yelled to my limo driver to start the car and turn the heater on full blast which will waste full but, so what you only live once as far as I am aware of. So after my driver opened the door and I got in he waked around to the drivers door and opened it and got in the car and stomped his foot to the floor because we were late. 10 minutes late to be precise.

We arrived to the airport on time after narrowly avoiding a speeding ticket. I ran to the gates and showed my pass which allowed me a pass from the security guards since I had already been cleared. So I ran up the stairs and hooped on the plain. I had an isle seat next to a mother and her screaming baby and thought to myself this will make me miserable and be the perfect thing to get me in the mood for my lecture.

Unfortunately I desired to get a cat nap in but, could not so I ordered my self a drink, then another, then another until I had ordered 6 drinks and now I had a crushing headache to go along wit my need to get some sleep and a screaming baby right next to me. Oh, was I miserable. Finally I was able to doze off for a five minute cat nap just as the plane was arriving at its layover. I like to travel straight through. So that is why I decided to get a flight with a layover.

Snobbery city was my least favorite city on earth. The residents were such snobs the refused to talk to anyone who made less than 200,000 dollars a year. Naturally I only made 150,000 dollars a year. I wanted to by a T-shirt as a token to remember my least favorite city by but, the cost well over $200, so that was out. So I was stuck having to wait 2 hours with noting to do in a city I detested, I would not have it any other way. I walked back to the plane since I could not get a taxi, it was 90 degrees out, I was miserable walking in that heat. Back on the plane soaked with sweat the air conditioner had broken down which made the heat on the plane unbearable.

Finally we took off and that baby was screaming again and so was my head I needed some sleep but, would get no sleep until I checked into my motel that night. We landed a half hour late. And the driver that was to pick me out was no where to be found. I called the university where I was to lecture but, the had no answer as to where the limo drive who pick me up was located. The could not reach her on her cell phone so I wandered aimlessly around the airport until I saw a woman in a chafferers livery sitting on a bench answering the crossword puzzle in the back of the morning paper. "Whats a word for pain in your foot" she said. And I said " you were supposed to meed me 30 minutes ago". And she said "That too many words that will not fit" "I don't care about your crossword puzzle, take me to the university right away".

She reluctantly put down her crossword puzzle and showed me to the limo, then drove me to the university.

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