The case of the missing tuna sandwich, Page 3, fiction

Bud reluctantly stayed and found the show charming. He thought what an original idea. Having a female comedian go up to random people on the street to find out how they would react to some jokes that they had never heard before. "What a great show this is" Hank and Frank. After that show ended they all watched Who wants to be a comedian.

Who wants to be a comedian is a reality show that pits 12 want to be comedians together to do stand up comity. The object of the show was to see what the live of a stand up comic was like and to have the 12 want to be comedians work together to become the best comedians the could be. The would work together and not compete against each other to help each other succeed. The comedians got instead of one getting a big prize the all got 50,000 dollars and the experience of being a stand up comic for 22 episodes on television. The all loved the television exposure.

The show was an instant hit. Instead of the usual hour show the show was 3 hours long so that there would be enough time to get to know the characters and the live of a stand up comic. The clubs they were at were all in the countries and outskirts of computer city.

Hank started watching the show from its first episode and never missed the show where ever it was on and he also purchased dvd's of each season so he could watch it over and over and over again. Bud was unsure if the show would be good but, he was pleasantly surprised that after the first five minutes he was hooked. He enjoyed seeing what was was like for a stand-up in computer city.

A typical show would start off with background about the place where the comedian's were to play for that show. The it would go to a conversation with the 12 comedians about the show and how they write jokes. Then for the next hour and a half the show would show the comedy routines of all the comedians. Sometimes the jokes were good and sometimes the comedians failed miserably with their jokes. For the last half hour for the last half hour of the show the comedians were asked about some of the jokes that they told and personal profiles of all the comedians on that years show. Bob thought the show was very well day and wonder why he had not heard about it before.

The next show was called Celebrity comedians do extreme stunts. Each week on the show would feature a celebrity comedian who would perform extreme sports. For one show the famous comedian Cindy royal was on for the whole show. Cindy tried her hand at being a snowboarder. She also tried ski jumping and speed skiing. The show showed why Cindy was a comedian and not a sports star. Though she did comport herself well.

The case of the Missing Tuna sandwich, Fiction

"As you know I happened to be at the computer city mall shopping for clothes with Harriet 3. So it was not I who took the sandwich" Harriet said. "We will make the determination if you are guilty alright Mrs. longInterger.

Next they decided to interview Harriet 3 and see if she collaborated her mothers story. So little Harriet 3 where were you on the day and time in question" asked Frank. "I was at the computer city mall shopping for clothes with my mother." said Harriet 3. "well that will be all the questions that we have for you thank you Harriet 3" said Hank.

I think its suspicious that Harriet and Harriet 3's stories agree with each other said frank. I agree said Hank. So the kept in mind that Harriet and Harriet 3 might have have been lying. But, the kept in mind or liked to think the best so maybe the were telling the truth and not lying. Hank and Frank could only hope for the best.

I was getting late and the detectives were getting hungry. And getting tired and hungry was not a good situation for investigating a case. So they decided to stop and resume the investigation the next day. Since there boss told them not to come back until the case was solved. They got out there sleeping bags and put on there pajama's. Bud asked them if the would like to eat dinner with the family. The had brought along some Detective field rations but, told Bud they would accept if it was not to much of an imposition. Bud said it would not. So then the gladly accepted his offer of a full dinner.

The dinner was prepared by the longIntegers long time chef Cheryl bright. She was one of the best privet chefs in the world. The menu consisted of fried chicken, roast beef, roast beef sandwiches with swiss cheese, a giant cheese platter, fruit salad, and finally for dessert carrot cake and chocolate ice cream. "This looks like great food Frank and Hank comments and promptly piled their plates high with the food. After the two detectives devoured their meal it was about 7:00pm so they had to decide weather to go to sleep or watch television. The took a vote and decided that it was to early to go to sleep so the decided to take Buds off and watch the big screen television in the family room.

Since the detectives were the guests they got the remote control and the choice of what to watch. It was the way things were done at the longInteger household. They decided to watch the computer city comedy channel. Since the both liked comedy. The first show was call - DO you think I am funny. It was about a women who went up to random people on the street and aksed them if it was ok for her to tell them jokes. This is one of my favorite shows commented Frank and hank. Bud was skeptical as to weather giving his two guests control of his television by giving them the remote control for the night, But, he could not take back the remote control now so he had to site and watch the show because he did not want to be rude and leave the room and say he would be back later. Because everyone knew he would not be back later and he did not want to appear rude to his guests who were try to find his beloved tuna sandwich.

I have never found anything interesting

Nothing - Nic

I can't recall if I have ever found anything more exciting then a penny on the sidewalk. I wish I had but, I probably have not. I wish I had.

Would I ever want to open a bar restaurant ect.

King Eddie's Restaurant, 1954

No, not if I wanted to make money. But it might be cool to have a place of my own some place I could go that's a home away from home. It would be fun to be able to tell people I have opened my own restaurant but, its just seems like way to much work to me with little payoff.

My favorite seasonal food

Pumpkin Pie

Pumpkin pie has to be the answer to the question of my favorite seasonal food item. I have liked its since as far back as I can remember. I could eat a whole pumpkin pie when I was younger. I might still be able to eat a whole one I don't know.

I prefer my pumpkin pie to be home made. I don't like the store bought froze pumpkin pies that you heat up in the oven. I like to eat the pie with either a scoop of vanilla ice cream or a dollop of whip cream on top or both on top of the pumpkin pie. Mmmm.

Donna summer is one of my favorite singers

RIP : I don't care if I'm beautiful; I don't care what I am on the outside. It isn't about the outside. --- Donna Summer [ 1948 - 2012 ] --- A TRIBUTE!

A Donna Summer greatest hits album. They are a singer I never get tired of listening to. I am not familiar with a lot of her songs so I cant say that I like all of her songs but, the songs of hers that I have heard I like. She symbolizes the 1970's Disco era and I like her because of that.

My favorite Olympic sport to watch

Andy Little Snatch 135Kg

This is a tough one but, I will go with power lifting. I just looked it up and its actually called Olympic weightlifting. I think its so exciting to see if the weightlifters can lift those heavy barbells. Also I like watching at the end when the weightlifters drop the wights and thy bounce on the ground.

Should soda be banned from schools?

No I don't think soda should be banned from all schools if the question means that kids should not be allowed to bring soda to school. Yes, I think schools should be banned from selling soda and any type of junk food. I don't think a school should make a profit from feeding children unhealthy food. I also think school lunches should only be made up of healthy food.

I wish I was more tech-savvy

Linux user #420761

I would say I wish I knew more about computer operating systems, programming languages and hardware. Also I wish I could operate my digital camera better. I hope to work on those things and become more knowledgeable.

The case of the Missing Tuna Sandwich, Fiction

The case of who ate the Tuna fish sandwich had baffled the computer city police department for a day and a half. Bud LongInteger first reported it missing at 1:30pm on the afternoon of Tuesday, August 31. It was not 9:00am on September 2. Everyone including the officers at the police department were starting to get worried. Would anyone ever see the Tuna fish sandwich again.

It all started on a warm clear day with a cloudless sky. "Bud remarked that it seemed like something bad might happen because the day was like the foreboding days he read about in mystery novels. So Bud was wary. He felt hungry so he went into the kitchen of the mansion to make himself a Tuna fish sandwich.

He gathered up the ingredients. Whole wheat bread, mayonnaise, canned tuna packed in oil. After he prepared the sandwich he left the room for a little bit to go down to the refrigerator in the basement which had all the soda stored in it. And when he returned he was horrified to find that the sandwich had vanished off the plate he had set it on.

He rushed around the room in a state of panic until he was able to calm down and think things through logically. Then he called the police and they agreed to come out to the house and check things out. Two detectives from the computer city police force dropped by less than 15 minutes later. Frank and Hank. The were to of the city's finest detectives. The were sent on the case with orders not to come back until they found out what happened to the sandwich. So they brought their sleeping bags, toothbrushes, hair combs, anything that they needed in case they need to camp out at the longInteger residence.

They sat down to question Bud about what happened. He explained what had happened in painful detail. By the time he had finished his story the detectives were begging him to stop talking. The wanted to get on the case and be home in time for dinner. Bud had mentioned that he believed that only two other people were in the house at the time of the disappearance though he was not sure. So the whole family had to be questioned.

First up was buds mom Harriet. Hello misses LongInteger my name is Detective Hank and this is Detective Frank. Where where you on the day in question at 6:30pm. "Please call me Harriet" Harriet said. "As regards to you question about my whereabouts on August 31 at 6:30pm I thought the theft took place at 1:30pm" said Harriet.

Ah yes said Hank about that we are just trying to see if you are an interesting person. See I am single and looking for a women. So I am just practicing my pick up lines. "Oh, I see said Harriet. Well keep practicing, just not on me, thank you" Harriet said.

The case of Buds Missing Confidence, Fiction

The case of who stole Bud longIntegers confidence. One day BUd woke up and he had no confidence so he decided to contact a computer city private detective to see who had stolen it.

Detective Wild Thompson was contacted by bud to find his confidence. He stopped by the longIntergers residence to find out the detail of the situation. "Detective its nice to meet you Bud said. "When was the last time you saw your confidence oh yes and where was the last time you saw your confidence" asked the Wild. "Well it was 2 nights ago and at my house that I last saw my confidence Mr. Wild.

"Thank you for the detailed information son. That is so much for me to go on. So Mr. Wild was on the case for the search for Buds confidence. "It will probably take me a week or 2 to find you confidence the detective as that is the time period that these missing confidence cases take. "Good luck detective Bud said. "Thank you" Bud Mr. Wild said.

The detective went to the computer city museum to see if anyone who worked there might have seen Buds confidence. He did not have a picture or anyway to describe his confidence but, he had the utmost confidence in finding it for his top client.

Meanwhile Bud was sitting at home believing that he could do nothing as he had no confidence. He just sat and cried and cried about being a failure. He wondered if he would ever see his confidence again or if he would lack confidence for the rest of his life. He was sure he could live without his confidence but, he would need to adjust to not having any confidence.

Meanwhile Wild was searching the museum high and low asking anyone he met if they had seen confidence. For instance he asked a person who was a visitor at the museum if he had seen the confidence. The guy asked what the confidence looked like and Mr. Wilds response was he would know it when he saw and so the man said that he did not see it then.

Oh now Mr. wild was beginning to think this was a lost cause and that he would never find Buds confidence. So he decided on a plan since no one knew what confidence looked like or anything like that Mr Wild thought he would just tell Bud that he found his confidence on the beach and charge him thought the roof for finding it. He arrived at Buds house and was ushered into the Den where he told Bud that he had found his confidence. "Thank you Mr. Wild you have done an exception job and now I feel much better that I will not have to go through the rest of my life wondering what happened to my confidence.

And now Bud was a renewed man with all the confidence in to world no that he had the detective find it. And that was the case of how Mr. Wild found Buds confidence.

The Fake astronomer, fiction

Williams pool parities were legendary in computer city. He would hire the best caterer in computer city. Gold catering company was the name of the company. It was nothing but the best for William's parties.

Since parties made William nervous he always like to loosen up before hand with 2 to 3 non-alcoholic beers. After that he would be ready to go and be the center of attention until early in the morning. His parties always lasted until early the next morning and the neighbors always complained about the loud music. But he just ignored them and did what he wanted.

This did not endear him to his neighbors but, he was not concerned with being popular he was more concerned with being well paid

For entertainment he would jump off the diving board of his pool and contort his body into different start constipations. Of which he always got the names wrong because after all the was the astronomer who did not know anything about astronomy. He first explained what constellations he was going to preform and then perform. For instance He would tell everyone he was now going to perform as the suns and then jump off the diving board in a ball and smash into the water and the water would go flying everywhere.

After he was finished with his diving board routines. He liked to entertain the crowd to preform with his band the astronots. Sadly William was not better at being a front man for a band than he was at being an astronomy professor. Yes, he could not even carry his own luggage let alone a tune. But, no one said a word for fear of hearting his feeling with the truth also because they were well paid and had no reason to speak up and tell him to find a different line of work because they could make a living living off what he paid them.

People would laugh behind his back at his ineptness as a singer. For example He would sing - How are you, I am fine - so it sounded like he was some kind of sick animal moaning in the throes of death. It was sad really that no one loved him enough to tell him the way things really were. No, instead they let him make a fool of himself and fool himself into thinking he was the most talented singer in the world. When everyone in the world know that not to be the case.

He also fancied himself a talented movie director but, he was just as bad at movie directing as he was at anything else he trued to try or did.

I wish I could by clothes from a vending machine

iCan Shirts History

I wish I could by clothes from a vending machine. I don't have expensive taste in clothes. All I need are some pants and a shirts. I think it would work with shirts anyway because getting the size right is easy but, with pants I might get the size wrong and how would I return them or where would I return them to if they did not fit. But, other than that I think buying a shirt and a pair of pants form a vending machine would be exciting.

I can't think of a specific beach that I think is pretty

Hawaii Beach House

I have not seen a beautiful beach in person. So the only beaches that I think are beautiful I have seen only on television or pictures. I cant remember a specific so I will say I think any beach on Hawaii is beautiful.

The fake astronomer, fiction

The Astronomer who did not know astronomy worked at computer city university. He got his job on the strength of his wonderful personality. His name is William oaks. He certainly tried to look the part. Everyday he sat at his desk in the astronomy department and wrote at his desk.

But, look a little closer and he was doodling. The big decisions of his day where what and where to order lunch and should he stay at his desk until dinner or leave and go home for dinner. Since he was not married or have a girlfriend it was so lonely so most days he stayed at the university past dinnertime.

The only phone calls he made all day were to make dinner reservations on the days that he did not eat the university dinner or to check on movie times. William would go to a move at least once a day at computer city cinema. But, most of his day was spent watching television in his office. His favorite show was called The Talk Show where guest would get on stage and talk about themselves. There was no host. It was just a person sitting in a chair and talking. And when they got tired of talking the would wave and the program would go to commercial and the person would be replaced with another person until the show was over. It was so exciting to William and to a lot of other people according to the ratings because it was the number one show on daytime television.

And one day a week William taught a class on astronomy. Since he knew nothing about the subject he would tell the students that he wanted to have the top student teach as that would help that student and the rest of the students learn more because they were learning from a student and not a teacher who was an expert. So every week he would have best student teach the class. William would sit at his desk and shoot rubber bands into a waste paper basket. He missed more than he made. He liked teaching as it made him feel like he was helping the world and people looked up to him. If only people know that he no teaching what so ever then the might not look up to him but, until they found out he was a fraud he would have a good reputation.

His biggest perk was the house that the university used to lure him to computer city. Every month he would throw a huge party for a whole weekend. William was not much of a teacher but, he knew how to throw a party. He did not send out any invitations but, people just showed up and were welcomed. His neighbors reluctantly accepted his parties because well frankly they had no choice. The music at the parties was legendary. Or was it the stuff of legend.

Buds Best Years, Page 54

Sam was up next. He went to the spot and was defended by Artie. He shot the ball but, it did not even hit the rim. Finally it was Artie's turn and he shot and the ball went though the net without even touching the rim or the net.

Instead of playing the game more Ted want the team to run wind sprints. Bud hated wind sprints sometimes other times he saw the value in them. After wind sprints it was time to end practice on a fun note. A slam dunk contest involving the players who could dunk the ball.

Bud was up first and he wanted to do something that would aw the crowd. Bud ran to the free throw line and bounced the ball off the backboard. The ball bounced off the ground and bud caught it while he was in mid air and dunked the ball amid ohhh's and awws. Don went next. He dribbled the ball bounced it high into the air an caught it in mid flight and dunked a thunderous dunk. Yes the crowd of players screamed.

Ernie went next. He came from behind the hoop and threw the ball off the backboard and dunked the ball. Weldon's dunk was awesome. He dribbled the ball baseline and windmilled the ball into the hoop. Red wanted to give it a try although he was not sure he could do it. So he just went for a simple dunk. He went under the hoop and jumped up and right on que he missed the dunk amid claps. Quincy was the one who did the best dunk. He dribbled to the free throw line and jumped and went flying through the air and dunked the ball home.

Ted said great dunk and on that not I will end practice. And with that practice was over and the players showered and headed back to the dormitories at computer city college. It was decided that the players should stay on campus so they could stay around each other and develop into a team. As they had not know each other before the camp. Waiting back at the dorm were burgers and fries from the computer city dinner. The best place in town to order burgers and fries as they were the best in town. Bud and the rest of team were over joyed and dug right into the food. Bud loved Burgers and fries especially after basketball practice since practice left him famished. Next was dessert which was delivered by the computer city desert palace.

It was chocolate cake and strawberry ice cream. Strawberry ice cream was buds favorite ice cream. After the food the group decided to go watch a movie in the student movie theatre.

Queen Of Miserable, Page 33

I am ready to eat I told Wilma. So I got in line and started filling my food plate. Wilma got in line behind me and started doing the same. I do like to eat but, I like to eat fast. Sometimes eating a big plate of food in under a minute. When I ate I just hoped I did not choke and if I did and no one was around and I died so be it.

My plate was full and now it was time to find a seat. I thought I eat so fast why waste my time finding a table. I will just stand up and eat my dinner. Wilma saw me eat and was amazed at how fast I could eat. I say why waste time eating when there are more importing things to accomplish. Thats an interesting way to look at it Wilma said. I was proud of myself that I had a special talent. I could eat food really fast.

It made me flash to a daydream. I was the speed eating champion of the world. I had trained for months and months for this great moment. I spent those month eating any food as fast as I could. I ate pasta, ice cream, whatever I wanted. The speed eating championships were different than other speed eating competitions. I as a contestant had to go through sever rounds and instead of eating on type of food in each round I had to eat complete meals. The object was that the contestant who at the most complete meals in the shortest amount of time was the winner. I was also very competitive so I did not want to loose.

Yes I told Wilma about my dream of being in the speed eating championships. She thought I should go for it and get away from my lectures on how to be miserable. I thought that maybe she was right and that I should stop trying to be miserable and just end up being happy instead of trying for a better life and being miserable. After all it was easy to be happy and hard to be miserable so I used to think that being miserable was something that I should shoot for but, now I thought that I might just give in and be happy.

After dinner I decided to leave the party early and go grocery shopping as I had nothing to eat. So I said my goodbye's to Wilma and her friends and went to my apartment. I always liked to get dressed up for grocery shopping. I always say if you can't look your best you should not go outside. So I put on my best clothes and headed out to the grocery store.

Buds Best Years, Page 53

Ron inbounded the ball to Bud who found Weldon at the 3 point line for a wide open shot and one thing that Weldon could not pass up was an open shot so he took it and swoosh the ball went though the hoop. Don inbounded the ball to Ted who dribbled the ball to the right and as he got to mid court he changed direction and went left and then drove to the center of the court and drove to the hoop and dribbled the ball of his leg and out of bounds. He showed a disgusted look on his face and went back on defense.

Ron inbounded the ball to quincy Willis who threw a bounce pass to Bud at center court. Bud he the ball and don hand checked him. Bud dribbled the ball between his legs and went right he saw Quincy on the low left block and threw a bounce pass to Quincy. He Backed down Red and bounced passed the ball to Weldon at 14 feet from the hoop. He shot the ball and it bounced in then out of the hoop and was rebounded by Bud who passed the ball to Artie at the 3 point line. Artie passed the ball to Weldon on the low left block who backed down Ernie and he shot the fade away from 5 feet out. The shot bounce on the rim and went in.

The scrimmage was stopped to give everyone a break. It was not time for free throw practice. Then Ted changed his mind and thought that a good game of horse was in order. Score would not be kept. It was just to get everyone practicing shots from different areas of the floor. To make it harder each shot would be defended. Bud started it of and his shot was defended by Don. He stood at the three point line in the center of the floor and shot the ball. Don jumped to provide some defense. The ball went through the hoop without touching net. It was Dons turn. He shot from the exact spot the Bud shot from but, he missed the shot.

It was Red's turn now. He again shot from the same spot that bud shot from. It was an air ball. Next it was Quincy's turn and his shot was defended by Red. To everyone one surprise Quincy's 3 pointer went thought the hoop. He high fived Red. "yes" he screamed. I am a world class shooter. Ted took his turn defended against by Ron. He dribbled the ball and shot the 3 and the ball went of the back iron and bounced out of bounds. Ron was up next and Ron faired no better. The ball hit the rim and bounce over the top of the backboard and went out of bounds.

Queen Of Miserable, Page 32

Wilma waved me onto the stage. She looked so silly dressed as Mrs. Potato head. I demurred because I am embarrassed about my signing voice. I gave in and stepped up to the microphone. I was dressed as a witch and not as myself and besides my singing voice would make everyone miserable which was a plus as far as I am concerned.

Wilma said did I know the lyrics to My house is on the road. I said I did and off we went singing one of the best songs of the 20th century. My singing voice is more of a high pitched scream than a voice that sounds like a singers. After we were done the crowd being so nice applauded are duet. Not one of the greatest duets in the history of song but, I would say one of the best duets in the history of karaoke if I do say so my self and I am saying so. I was having so much fun annoying the guests that I asked Wilma if she wanted to sing another song and she said why not. We sang a good rendition of That car Is Worth a Lot of Money. Another one of the greatest songs of the 20th century. We were singing all the hits here today.

After singing the 2 songs I started to get hungry as it was getting towards lunch time. I usually skipped lunch and ate a big dinner but, to day with all the excitement of the party I decided to eat lunch. After a lunch of a ham sandwich and some candy corn I was pumped up for the rest of the day. I talked to some people and listened to some of the karaoke and had a ball. Ok, so it was not the most exciting party of my life but, what else was I going to do on this day other than watch horror movies.

I have found a new way to make myself feel miserable. Going to parties is the most miserable thing in the world for me. I have found a new secret that I can reveal in my miserability lectures. Although its nice to be around people as sitting alone watching movies all day makes me miserable also but, I like parties better because at least I can be miserable and have company and not be alone and miserable. Because being alone and miserable is truly miserable and even I don't like being that miserable.

Now it was approaching dinner time and the catering was bring out steak, roast beef, chocolate cake, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate cookies, pumpkin cake, pumpkin cookies and pumpkin pie since this was a Halloween party. This was going to be a feast.

Buds Best Years, Page 52

Don dribbled to the key and went right and saw Red Simms the power forward wide open under the hoop. He lobbed the ball towards Red. Red jumped and caught the ball in the air and slammed dunked the ball. Don went wild with excitement as Red was not know for his offensive game. Red routinely missed even dunks. Bud inbounded the ball to Artie who dribbled the ball to the right side at the top of the key he want to go one on one against Sam so he called the play and everyone got out of his way and Don came over for a double team to try to get the ball out of his hands. Artie dribbled between his legs and went left. Don bumped him. But Artie kept kept heading towards the basket. Suddenly at the free throw line he stopped and shot a 15 foot fade away and swoosh the ball went. Everyone was amazed at Artie's skill.

Don inbounded the ball to Ted who took the ball up the court and quickly shot a 3 pointer which went off the back iron and bounced out. It was rebounded be Bud who dribbled the ball up the court and call an isolation play. Bud took the ball to the center of the court and quickly drove to his left past Don and then Ernie came over to stop him from getting to the basket but, it did not work as Bud jumped at the free throw line and slammed the ball who amid owws and aws. What a display Ted said.

Enough of the one on one stuff we need to learn how to work as a team coach Ted said. Don inbounded the ball but, almost did not get it inbounded because of the full court press. He inbounded the ball to Sam who drove up the court to the right side. He passed to Don who passed to Red on the right block. He was not double teamed because it was Red who could not shoot. He backed down Quincy Will the other power forward and drove to his right and down the center of the lane for a dunk.

Bud inbounded the ball to Artie who passed it to Ron who was at the top of the key. He drove the ball down the center of the court and into the lane where he spotted an open Bud. He passed it to Bud but, Bud spotted Weldon open on the left block. Weldon backed down Ernie and then he spotted Ron at the free throw line. Ron took the shot and it went through.

Good teem work the ouch shouted.

Don inbounded to Ted who dribbled the ball between his legs and went to the right. He found Artie in the left corner at the 3 point line and Artie took the shot and swoosh it went through the basket.

Queen Of Miserable, Page 31

Suddenly I was ready to party. Wilma came out to meet me dress as Mrs potato head. "What a great costume for a Halloween party" I said pointing to the Mrs potato head costume. "I am glad you like it" Wilma said. "Lets head into the party she said.

She introduced me to some of her rich friends. Joe Freak was dressed as a Lawyer but, by day he was a car salesman who owned 20 dealerships up and down the coast. Joe was such a nice man. He even tried to get me a deal on a new car. He said if I bought now he would throw in a stereo upgrade. "I said I was not interested in buying a new car at a party or in fact buying a new car at all but, if I were I surely by from one of he care dealerships.

Next she introduced me to Nancy Toms who was dressed as a door to door sales women complete with brief case filled with expensive candies she was trying to see. By day Nancy was a life guard at the local beach. She had inherited her wealth from her fathers family who were oil tycoons. We started talking and she said she had just left her husband of 5 days because the could no longer get along and she wanted a divorce for irreconcilable differences and she was looking for a place to live. Even thought she was rich she was cheap so I offered to let her live in my apartment as I wanted a roommate. I was lonely and thought the company would be annoying and make me miserable. She accepted.

Wilma came over and hit me in the shoulder. Why did you hit me I said. Want to sing some karaoke. I don't want to sing Wilma. Fine then I will sing. It turn out that will was big into karaoke.

The song she sang was - Don't hate me because I adore you. Unfortunately she thought the lyrics were - Don't date me because I adore you. Wilma sang don't date me because I adore to the tune of monster mash and everyone one laughed at her because she got the lyric wrong. I could not help myself and ended up laughing covering my mouth. I did not want to rude to my new friend.

The final song she sang was called. If I am a computer you are a computer. The lyric made no sense but, I liked the song because it was set to disco. She bowed when she was done because of all the applause. I could not believe how bold she was taking a chance of making a fool of herself in front of all her friends.

Queen Of Miserable, Page 30

The thought that I was getting older and older and did not have any kids because making me more and more anxious. Tank had never wanted kids but, I wanted them. We constantly argued about it but, he refused to budge on the matter and after a while I just liked to argue about it as it made me miserable thought i had resigned myself to not having any kids.

Now that I was free of Tank I could possibly realise my dream of having kids of my own. I just did not know if I wanted to adopt or have the children myself or I could adopt of have a kid of my own. I had to decide quickly as I was not getting any younger as was reaching the age where it would be getting harder to get pregnant and I did not want to be really old with young kids as I thought that if I were older I would not have the energy to keep up with them. I also did not want to be to old because I wanted to live to see them graduate high school and college and see the birth of my grandchildren.

I put those thoughts of for the moment to talk to my new friend Wilma on the phone. She wanted to know if I want to come to a party she was throwing this afternoon. I though wow, a party is just the thing I need to get my mind of Tank and weather I wanted to have kids or adopt. She said that it was a costume ball. A costume ball in the middle of June really Wilma she assured me that yes indeed yes it was a costume party.

I decided to go a witch but, I did not have time to go to a costume shop to get a proper costume so I borrow some of Wilma's clothes. I borrowed a hat and a black evening dress and an old broom she used to use for her kitchen. I look pretty good don't I Wilma. You look great darling. "You are now ready for the party" she said. I was glad for her reassurance. I was feeling shaky as my life had been turned upside down in a mere 2 days. I was glad to have found a new friend in my land lord Wilma.

The party was in the big house. That was what ever one called her mansion The big house. The room where the party was was decorated with black and orange. The curtains were black and when to the floor. The carped had been overlay ed with a orange rug. Monster mash was blaring over the sound system. I was a little bit hesitant as I did not know anyone who would be at the party but, I pushed ahead and went into the room.

Buds Best Years, Page 51

It was Buds first day at the summer basketball league. The coach Ted told everyone to get into there practice uniforms so that they could practice. First the worked on dribbling then passing and finally shooting before they had a 5 on 5 scrimmage.

During the 5 on five scrimmage because Bud played point forward he was in control of the game. Bud was outside the 3 point line and he put the ball on the floor to dribble to his left against Don Haze who was competing with him for the staring sport at small forward on the team. Don was a great defender. Bud blew past Don and went to the hoop for a dunk. Don inbounded the ball to Ted Thomas the point guard for Dons team. The full court press was on. Ted passed the ball to Don and he dribbled the ball to the three point line where he passed to Ted and Ted drove into the lane where he spotted Don at the 3 point line he passed to don and don shot the ball and it went in. Bud took the from the next and went out of bounds he passed the ball to Ron Ricks a point guard. Ron dribbled the ball up the court to the three point line and the he dribbled right drove to the free throw line passed to Bud at the three point line Bud passed back to Ron and Ron shot from the free throw line as he was wide open he made the shot with a swish. Sam songs passed the ball into Ted and Ted found Don at the 3 point line Don drove the ball to the free throw line and passed to Sam in the corner Sam found Ted just below the top of the key. He drove the ball to the left side and passed the ball to don who had his back to the basket. Don back Bud down close to the basket and suddenly he noticed Arty Weldon wide open at the 3 point line. Arty shot the ball and it went off the back iron. Bud rebounded and passed to the center Weldon Wills who was open under the basket for a dunk.

Ted inbounded the ball to Don and before he could get to the ball arty had stepped in the passing lane and stolen the ball and immediately spotted Ron in the corner for a wide open 3-point shot. The ball was a air ball that Weldon rebounded. He passed the ball out to Ron for another try at the same shot and this time swoosh. Don inbounded the ball to Ted who dribbled the ball up the court against the full-court press. He passed the ball to Sam how drove the ball to the right dribbled the ball between his legs and at the free throw line shot a fade away which hit the back iron but, when through.

Ron inbounded the ball to Bud who took the ball to the top of the key and passed to Weldon down on the left block. Weldon back down Ernie Ivy. He went baseline and was wide open for a one handed dunk. Don inbounded the ball to Ted who made a long pass to Sam in the corner at the three point line. He drove the baseline against Arty. Arty could not defend Sam so Bud came over to help so Don was open at the free throw line for an easy shot. Swoosh.

Bud inbounded to Arty who found Ron at the top of the key. He dribbled down the center of the court and spotted bud on the low block against don. Bud back down Don and took the ball to the center of the court and went around Ernie for an easy dunk. Ted in bounded the ball to Don who dribbled up the court.

Queen Of Miserable, Page 29

So a watching movies I went. I fell asleep half way thought the movie and had a dream that Tank was knocking on my door and screaming my name and saying that if I did not come home with him he would drag me back home. Drag me into the car and force me to go back home. I was a terrifying dream.

When I woke up I was glad the it was only a dream. And I was also glad that I had left Tank sure he made me miserable but, there were other special men that would make me miserable.

As I was watching the movie I realised that I needed a lecture or a speaking engagement to be able to make some money. So I vowed to start making calls in the morning to some people I knew to see if the knew anyone who needed a speaker who was an expert on how to be miserable. I was unsure with the week or two off that I would be able to get into my speaking routine or that I wanted to be a speaker on how to be miserable.

Sure I was miserable almost all of the time but, after leaving Tank I took stalk of what mattered and did not matter in my life and I did not want to spend the rest of my life on the road. I wanted to find a man and raise a family or if I did not find a man I wanted to adopt children and have a family. I was getting older and another nature was telling me it was now or never. And I was beginning to think that it would be never the luck that I had in my life and the fact that a lot of men like to find a women who likes to be happy and not a women who wants to be miserable all of the time.

If I did not have a family sure I would live but, I would be disappointed and lose a big dream in my life ever since I was a little girl. From the time that I liked to be happy I had kept the dream of wanted to raise a family as one thing in life I like were children. Children were on of the things that I have a wanted in my life as they made me happy and that was ok.

Thinking about all this I started to cry. What if I had waited to long an could not have children. What if the children I had did not like me or they turned out to be bad people. It thought to myself now you are great girl because I was miserable and as you know by now I like to be miserable and I like to make myself miserable. It ok to be miserable. I should make a t-shirt out of that.

Buds Best Years, Page 50

As soon as Bud got home from that last day of school he hit the backyard basketball court to start practicing for the summer basketball league. He was so excited because he did not know any of the other players on the team so he was sure he was going to meet some great people and make new friends. The leagues started in july so he had a whole month to practice and dream about playing summer basketball.

In the mean time he also hit the books to learn more. He particularly wanted to study math as that was his favorite subject. Leaning to Bud was like going to an island resort to other kids. Learning was the funnest thing in the world to him. It was a world of adventure greater than traveling around the world or to the farthest reaches of the universe.

When Bud was not studying or practicing his basketball he was traveling around computer city aimlessly. He went and walked around in stores walked the streets. He just liked getting outside and getting to know his city on a more intimate level than watching the television news or reading about it in the newspaper. He went to the local barber shops and talked to the customers. He went and walked around shopping mall. Walked around playing fields. He just explored as much as he could to get what his city was about. It had the bonus of helping Bud get into better basketball shape so he could be read for the summer league. Sure Bud liked his computer but, he like the outdoors just as much and those weeks spent exploring computer city on foot were some of the best of his young life.

Bud had been thinking the past few week that he had always been the type of person to focus on the future and not on the now enjoying what he was doing at this moment in time. It was during this summer that Bud decided that if he did not like doing something and he did not have to do it he would remove it from his life. For example he did not like working in the garden and he did not have to working in his parents garden so he quit working in the garden. He like the out of doors but, he did not like gardening and he felt much better that gardening was not longer in his life. Let gardening make someone else miserable.

As the basketball league season started to approach he got more and more excited and practiced his basketball skills even more. Harriet even remarked that he looked more excited then she had seen him in years. "I hope you do well son" she said. "I am enjoying myself so much mom. I can't wait to play some summer basket ball. Bud said.

I don't like parties

The party started out small...

1 person make the perfect amount of people for a party. And that one person would be me. I am not a person who likes parties. I have to go and meet strangers and probably end up hearing them talk about themselves or even worse I would have to talk about myself. I would rather be doing something constructive or watching a movie. Going to a party makes me think I am being punished, its a chore to me.

On Driving

Two police car accidents

I have not driven much in my life but, I do enjoy driving. The open road and I can go anywhere I want to. How, fun.

I would say that it does depend on where I am driving. I enjoy driving much more if I were going on vacation then if I were going shopping or to school or any place like that. Its always fun for me to drive to a pace I have never been to before.

Queen Of Miserable, Page 27

While watching a movie the phone rang. It was Tank and he started screaming and crying to me about how could I do this to him. What had he don't to deserve to do this. "You tried to run over me Tank" I said. At leas come and get your things. I said I you can keep all my things I don't want them anymore because the remind them of you. And I don't want to remember anything about you and then I said goodbye and told him don't bother calling me again as I would hang up the phone as soon as I heard it was him. Before I hung up I said I was filing for divorce and wanted to get on with my life without him. I hung up and have never heard from tank since.

After the up setting phone call I decided that I would watch movies for the rest of the day until I went to sleep. I was glad to be rid of Tank so with the feeling of upsetness I also felt a happiness that I was not quite happy with. I could stay up all night watching movies I was so excited. The next day Wilma stopped by and asked me how everything was going and was there anything wrong. I said that I was a little upset of a call I received from my soon to be ex husband. Wilma assured me that I did not have to worry as there was round the clock security and it tank tried to come into the house that he would be spotted long before he got near me. I was glad to hear that as I was not sure that Tank would listen to me and leave me a long. He might try to come to where I live and try to convince me to come back to him which I would never do. I will never go back to that horrible man I told Wilma.

Wilma said goodbye and I was alone again but, reassured because of what Wilma had told me. I decided to watch a horror movie about a wife who moves to a new home to get away from her terrible husband. The husband calls her new home begging her to come back to him and when she refuses to come home and tells him off and says that she never wants anything to do with him again.

In a fit of rage that night even with all the security at her new residence he starts banging on her door and yelling that he was going to take her home or else. I sensed something familiar in that story but, could not put my finger on what it was. I was excited to watch the movie. Horror movies were my favorite. And watch the movie I did with excitement.

Buds Best Years, Page 29

Bud went over to Bobby to get his autograph. He was surprised that Bobby was so soft-spoken he would have thought he would be loud like his screen persona. He was the only celebrity that Bud had met in his life. But would never forget this moment for the rest of the year. He said goodbye to Bobby and made his way back to the barbecue for lunch. Sid had started serving up hamburgers and salad. Bud went right over and grabbed a plate and waited his turn to get some food. After lunch they went back to the hotel to backup and get ready to go home.

Bud did not have much to pack so he sat sat around watching the others pack. Bud had a sleepless night that night because he could not wait to get back as he missed his home and his friends.

The awoke early the next morning for the early flight back to computer city. It was getting towards the end of Buds first year of high school and he was starting to get said as he would miss some of his friends who were seniors would be going off to college or into the work place and leaving him behind. He would miss them. Like a senior named Sid Sams. They had met in Cynthia files Algebra class and had become instant friends. Sid and Bud both had a love of math and the would spend hours after school talking about math and playing video games together. In the fall Sid Sams was to got to computer city math college in the fall one of the to math colleges in the world. Bud was sad about his friend leaving but, eventually he realised that he would make new friends and his friend would make new friends and they would probably never see or talk to each other again and Bud was ok with that.

The last day of the school year came and Bud could not wait for the summer to begin. For the summer bud planned to play in a summer basketball league in computer city. The league had been around for 5 years created by a famous basketball player who wanted to give students something constructive to do in the summer. Bud was slated to start for his team at small forward and as he had shot up during his first year of high school. At 6'8 he was the perfect size to play small forward. He had a great shot and a great vertical and loved to show off for the crowd with ferocious dunks. Bud love of the game had not dimmed despite all of the years he had played and practiced the sport.

The bell rang on that last day of school and Bud was off for what was sure to be one of the most exciting summers of his young life.

Five of writers I like

Writer Spider

1. Dick Debartolo from mad magazine makes me laugh.

2. Jessica mah - from Jessica Meh meets world is my favorite blogger. To bad she does not write that many blog post any more because I always enjoy her writing. See seem to enjoy what she is doing.

3. James Thurber though I have only read a biography about him I think that he probably was a great humorist. I hope to read a lot of his books eventually.

4. Marco Vassi - Even though he wrote books of an adult nature I would like to read more of his books. The stoned Apocalypse made me laugh even though it was not a humor book. That the only book of his I have read but, I hope to read more and I wish I had a better vocabulary.

5. Stephen J. Cannell - I have never read any of his novels. Though I enjoyed his television shows: The Greatest American hero, The A-Team, Hunter his show have give me a lot of entertainment.

A road trip I would like to go on

Doris Montgomery Pass Nevada Highway 374

I think it would be fun to explore Arizona and Nevada. I would start out in Arizona from phoenix. First I would see a phoenix suns game then an Arizona diamondbacks games. I don't know the names of a lot of places in Arizona so I will just say that I would drive around the state for about a week and see what interesting things I can find.

I would take another week to tour places like Carson City, reno, Las vegas, and any ghost towns I can find, or museums or whatever else I can find. That sounds like a fun 2 weeks to me.

The last time I enjoyed the great outdoors

Internet Tethering

The person who stress me out the most is myself. And the thing that stress me out the most is my computer and the internet. I am on the internet a lot and I worry that by staying on the internet so much that my life will pass by quick and I will not have lived a full life and done what I wanted to do. I don't worry about that as much as I used to but, I still think about it. I try to do things that interest me on the internet and not waste time and that seems to help me not stress out about its as much.

Things that I stress about

Internet Tethering

The person who stress me out the most is myself. And the thing that stress me out the most is my computer and the internet. I am on the internet a lot and I worry that by staying on the internet so much that my life will pass by quick and I will not have lived a full life and done what I wanted to do. I don't worry about that as much as I used to but, I still think about it. I try to do things that interest me on the internet and not waste time and that seems to help me not stress out about its as much.

Where I hope to be in 3 years

Las vegas

I have had this dream of living in a place where there a lots of casino's; Reno, las vegas, Atlantic city or in Hawaii. In a place like las vegas I would gamble all day or go see old ghost towns or land marks of Nevada and write programs on my computer at night just as soon as I learn to write computer programs. And in Hawaii I would own a piece of land and grow bananas or papaya or another fruit and explore beaches and learn to surf.

Or I another idea I think about is selling all my possessions except for my computer and head out on the road exploring the country. I like the feeling of newness when I go to a new place so I think I might like this. Pulling into a motel at about 6pm in the evening in some town or city I have never heard of also sound fun to me. I dream about it often.

Or in three years I might be exactly where I am now and that is not to bad. But, I hope I will be traveling the united states.

One thing I heard about recently was something that I saw on an airplane show. A man wanted to fly corporate jets and fly around the world. And when I saw that wow, that is something that I would want to do. Flying all over the world probably living out of fancy hotel's or motel's. Where do I sign up. Maybe I will be doing all three of the things. I don't know. I sure would never get bored living in theses places

Queen Of Miserable, Page 27

The first thing I did when I got to my apartment was use my cell phone to cal Tank and tell him that I no longer wanted him in my life. "We are done." I said to the answering machine and Tank was not home. "Its over we are finished. Goodbye tank. I am hanging up now." Now with that easy job done. I now turned to my new apartment. Wilma had ordered a bunch of stuff and had it delivered and placed in the place before I arrived. There was a huge 70 inch television.

So I decided to watch moves and relax on my first day in my new home. The was a whole pile of DVDs but, fist I wanted chips and pop corn. SO I went to the kitchen and got 2 bags of chips and microwaved 2 bags of popcorn. After me treats were ready I went back into the living room and sat on the couch and with the remote control in had I was read for some serious movie watching.

I had loaded the dvd player with like 15 dvds so I would not have to move a muscle anytime soon which was fine with me after my ordeal of the last day or to. The only thing I liked a television for was watching movies as I do not like the shows on television. I remember growing up I would watch movies for hours and hours at a time and it would be the most fun ever. Now that I am an adult I still watch movies but, it know makes me miserable to watch them as I an obsessed with getting things done and watching movies to me seems a waste of my time when I could be accomplishing things.

In fact movies and a cellphone are as technological as I get. I no linger use the internet because that one thing that makes me miserable that I deny myself. It takes up to much of my time and I would rather be less miserable wasting time watching movies all day.

Unfortunately after 5 minutes of watching the first movie I fell asleep because I did not sleep well the night before out in the middle of nowhere and was tired. So things got worse for me as I had really wasted a lot of time sleeping when I would have rather wasted my time watching movies but, I was rid of hank so things were not all bad much to my disappointment. I woke up in the middle of the fifth movie and was totally confused as I had not seen the first part of that movie. I thought it was better that way. Sometimes being totally confuses makes me feel totally miserable and that is the way I like it and the don't call me the queen of miserable because I like being happy.

Buds Best Years, Page 48

Everyone woke up at 6:30am ready for the final day on computer city island. They had breakfast and where ready to go by 7:30am. They were going the beach for this last day on the island.

The beach they were going to was called The Rock star beach. It was named that because it was a favorite vacation destination for rock stars. But, there were no stars here on this day much to Buds disappointment. "I wish there were some stars here today dad so I could get an autograph or 2." Bud said. "Maybe some will show up later" Sid said. The beach had white sand with clear blue water. It was like the picture of the perfect beach. The waves were big enough to surf on. There would be no surfing today as Bud and Sid did not want to rent surfboards.

Sid brought hot dogs, buns, potato salad and chocolate cake for desert. Sid pick up all that food at a deli on the way to the beach so the longIntegers could have a picnic on the beach. And it was such a great day for a picnic. Sunny without a cloud in the sky. Sid also bought a barbecue so that he could cook the hot dogs at the beach because the beach allowed you to cook on the beach.

Sid started the charcoal as soon as he got on the beach so the hot dogs would be read for lunch as it took 2 hours to get then ready. Bud watched his dad light the barbecue. He was so excited to eat grilled food and be at the beach. Bud decided to run to the shore and let the water run over his bare feet. He watched the waves as they were usually big today and wished he had a surfboard. He walked up and down the shoreline looking for surfers and celebrities.

Shortly before lunch he saw one. Bobby Riggs. Bobby was and action movie star with such credits as The mountain climber, Don't look at me dear, Staycation, There is something rotten in computer city, and his best know role as Allan in Allan's weekend in the city.

Allan's weekend in the city was about a young country man on his first weekend in the city. On Allan's first day in the city he is almost mugged but, escapes by using karate to fight off his attackers. Undeterred he looks at a sign for a movie theatre and decides to see what a movie is. He becomes so enraptured with movies that he spends all day at the movie theatre. He was glad to off the mean streets in the big city and safe in the movie theatre. He wished he had discovered movies years before as he believes that they are great entertainment. "you can go on a great adventure and not have to leave you seat or break a sweat" Allan said the cashier at the movie theatre.

Queen Of Miserable, Page 26

Ted had a very interesting past. He was a janitor at a computer company and taking night classes in computer programing so that he could start his own computer software company. After starting the company he decided that he would take 3 months off each year and travel around the Midwest on a moped.

"All that time in an office sitting behind a computer made me realise that yes, programming was ok, but I wanted to get outside more and that is when I came up with the idea of taking 3 months of each year and traveling" Ted said. Ted obviously was not the type of person I would want to hang around he was bubbling over with happiness. Nothing I said could make him miserable or make him stoop smiling so I could not wait for the town to appear and say goodbye to Ted. And luckily soon enough the town appeared and I said goodbye to Ted.

Now I had to decide who to call. I thought I should call my insurance company so I could get a tow truck to fix my flat tire and be on the road back to my house. So that is what I decided to do. I thought better of the idea to call tank as that would not do me any good.

The tow truck arrived and I got into so that I could get a ride to my car. I struck a conversation with the Tow Truck diver and we became almost instant friends. It turns out Wilma lived in a mansion and needed a roommate because she was lonely. So I said that I needed a room to rent as I was leaving my husband and I did not know where I was going to go but, know I know where I want to go.

Wilma gave me directions to her house and after she had fixed my flat I drove there to move in right away. I did not want to spend one more night in a house with a man who tried to run me over with my car/ his car. I decided to let Tank have all my things as I had enough money to buy anything that I want but, I did not want much. Let Tank deal with all the stuff that I did not want anymore. Let it be his problem. I hoped it would make him more miserable than he already was. I just want away from that man.

When I got to Wilma's house I say a big pool and my apartment was a building out back and it was the size of a small house and much bigger than I thought. I was it was sad to admit almost feeling happy at my lucky meeting with Wilma. I stepped out of my can and into a new life away from Tank.

Buds Best Years, Page 47

They took a Taxi to the computer city Island movie theater. The name of the theatre is The Dream Land theatre. The build was a turn of the 19th century mansion that had been turned into a movie theatre. On the inside there were 12 movie screens. There were 4 big room on each of the three floor with a movie screen showing a movie in each.

The Truck driver was showing on the third floor room number 2. The inside of room 2 was cool and dark. The walls were white with grey carpeted floors. The longIntegers took their seats in the back as they thought that sitting in the back provided the best view of the movie. The lights dimmed and the movie started.

A big truck came racing across the screen and the camera started to follow the truck. The truck pulled over at a truck stop to get gas and food. Its then that we see the star of the movie George Hank. George asks the waitress for a burger and fries. As he sat eating the camera paned the truck stop showing all the trucks in the parking lot. And then the movie action started showing all the good George created using his truck. The movie shows how he takes the excess food from a supermarket and halls it in his truck to a shelter. The movie continues in that vein until the big climax with George at the end has to fight the evil truck and its driver Tank. Tank wants to ruin George because he believes that what George is doing is wrong and that all a person should be interested in is making money not giving away things for free. Their truck rack around in circles until Tank turns his truck and rams it into Georges truck.

Georges truck is destroyed and he no longer tours the country giving good to the poor because he is to broke he can not afford to replace his truck as his insurance does not cover the cost of a new truck. So George lives his final years as a broken and broke man. Then the credits roll.

"I was not expecting such a terrible ending" Bud said. "I second that assessment" Harriet 3 said. "I am glad got to do what he wanted for over a decade I just wish he could have spent his whole live helping people in need but, life does not work out as we always want it to." Harriet said.

In a somber mood the exited the movie theatre for the sort walk back to the hotel. For what was sure to be a much need nights sleep. When they arrived at the hotel the door man asked how everyone was and they all said in unison that they were find but, could not wait to get a good nights sleep. So they were read for tomorrows adventures.

Buds Best years, Page 46

Bud changed his mind and decided instead to watch the fish in the fish tank next to the window. The tank was filled with ferns and rocks. The fish tank was rectangular and big. Bud stood in front of the tank and watched the fish until the meals came to the table.

When the meals arrived Bud when racing to his seat. He was vanished. He tore into his stake and baked potato and had the mail finished in record time. He barely had time to taste each bite as he ate because he ate so fast.

After he finished his meal and his dessert he went to the fish tank again to watch the fish. He was mesmerized by the miniature shark which chased the other smaller fish around the tank and into the foliage.

After everyone finished eating they were ready to go back to the hotel and get some sleep as it had been a long, long day. Everyone piled into the taxi and the driver sped of back to the motel. There was a pedestrian on the road that the driver swerved to avoid and as he swerved he lost control of the cab and the cab overturned. As everyone was wearing their seatbelts no one was badly injured. The EMT's from the ambulance checked everyone out to make sure they were ok and then Bud family were driven in the ambulance to the hospital to be checkout more throughly.

At the hospital they were given tests to make sure that they were ok. Except for a few bumps and bruises everyone was fine. "Well this has been an eventful day." Sid commented to anyone who was in earshot. "Yest it has dad." Bud said. Bud wondered what would go wrong next as they were having almost a perfect day until this horrible accident happened. "At least no one was heart" Harriet 3 said. "I second that her mother said."

After their release from the hospital they decided to go to am movie at the islands only theatre. As everyone was to pumped up to be able to get any sleep after the accident. "What movie should we see?" Asked Harriet. "I want to see The truck driver.

The Truck driver was about a truck drive who goes on a rampage about the waste in society in the late 1990's and decides to do something about it so he uses his truck to redistribute things from people who don't want it anymore to people who are in need.

Sound like the perfect movie to watch after are harrowing accident." Harriet said. "Yes I agree it sounds like an uplifting and relaxing movie after the ordeal of a few hours ago. Harriet 3 said. And off the movie theatre they went.

Queen of Miserable, Page 25

Then I stated to think about Tank and cry. What will I do without him. He is the center of my life my rock that I can go home to and feel loved if miserable. What will I do without him and what will he do without me.

It almost made me feel sorry for Tank that I was going to have to leave him. I said almost. Forget tank I was going to get free of him and find another man who was going to make me miserable and not try to kill me. That trying to kill me bit that was going to far in my book. He was going to have to find another woman to make him miserable and he was not going to have me to push around anymore.

My rage was coming to the surface now. But, then it subsided and I was calm again thinking about how I was going to shoot the film out here in the middle of nowhere. Or I could just pay someone to shoot the movie for me and take the acting and directorial credit myself. I might be a fraud but, its a lot less work to pay someone else to shoot a film than it is to shoot it ones self. Who would I hire. It had to be someone with no film experience as if the movie were good people would know it was a fraud right away and I would be called out and never be able to make my millions like I wanted to and be able to leave Tank. Maybe I could have Tank shoot the film and give him some of the profits and then I would not feel so bad about walking out on him for another man. Ok. I still might feel bad but, less bad.

No I think I will find one of my friends to shoo the film and give them some of the profits instead of that miserable person Tank Swans.

Now since I was not going to shoot the film out in the middle of nowhere what was I going to do while I was waiting for myself to get rescued. I felt like a princess waiting for her knight in shinning armor to rescue me. I did not know my night in shining armor would be driving a moped. The 20th century version of a night in shinning armour was a man driving a moped I guess. Or maybe its not. What do I know. His name was Ted and he drove by on his moped and saw me stranded and asked me if there was anything he could do to help me. I asked for a ride into town so I could call my car insurance company or a tow truck. He agreed and I hoped on the back of his moped and we were of to the nearest town so I could call for help.

Queen Of Miserable, Page 24

So I had to shoot the movie to realise my dream and was I going to make a movie. The best movie that I could make with no money and no experience in the film business.

I got out my solar panel and hooked the battery charger up to it. As it takes several hours to charge the battery I would have several hours to decide how to shoo the shots of the move. Of course I could hook the camera directly to the solar panel but, that would not allow me to move around. So I would hook the camera directly to the solar panel for the close ups and use the battery for the shots where I move the camera around.

The hours flew by and before I knew it it was time for me to get into my lady bug costume and set up my camera and tripod and shoot the movie in under 2 hours. Yes people would not believe it when I told them that I shot the movie in under 2 hours. I would be hailed as a directing genius. I could not believe all the good ideas that I had thought of.

Again my mind wandered to what life will be like after I make my feature film directing debut. I will take Hollywood by storm and get invited to all the big parties dispensing my wisdom for free. It was worth thousands and I was giving away all that I knew for free. I was so great. Would I take my green limo or my plain old limo. So man decisions to make before the invitations came to my mailbox.

What to wear to all the big parties maybe my pink floral print evening dress. Or a green pant suit with gold necklace and heels. I don't like heels because they heart my feet but, as I said I like to be miserable so I wear than and they give me plenty of misery. Why was I wasting my time thinking about parties after the movie had been out for awhile. No, I need to worry about what I would wear for the movie premiere party. Fist things first. I need to not get ahead of myself. I think a black evening dress with my 6 inch heels and some nice pearls. Yes that is the ticket. I will look great. I am not only a great movie director but, I am also have a great fashion sense.

I am nothing if I am not multi talented. Yes in addition to my new movie career I will have my own line of clothes that everyone will love. I will then be a famous movie director and a famous fashion designer which will get me invited to more parties. Just to let everyone know I don't like parties. To much talking. So going to all the ritzy parties will make me even more miserable so I will be rich and even more miserable than I am now. How great.

Buds Best Years, Page 45

All the while while riding in the taxi to the restaurant Bud kept wondering what was the hurry and all the excitement about going to a place to eat. What could be the surprise he kept thinking to himself. He would not have long to wait before he found out because the cab was pulling up to the eatery and now Sid, Harriet, Harriet 3 and then bud were out of the cab and marching towards the door.

The building was nondescript. It was a building that did not look like it housed a great place to eat. The owner of the restaurant thought it was better to concentrate on the menu and not on how the building look. The look of the building was irrelevant as far as he was concerned.

The minute he stepped into the restaurant Bud felt a breeze of cool air hit him. There were 2 palm trees on each side of the entrance. There were round tables in the center of the room and a bar on each side of the of the tables with a glass wall on the other side of the entrance.

The Tables had Tie Die colored table cloths. The dishes were neatly arranged with silver where and fancy blue napkins. The chairs for the tables were soft and fluffy to provide the maximum comfort.

The bars on each side of the tables were identical. They consisted of a wooden bar with stools in front with shelves in behind the bar that stored all the liquor.

They decided to sit at a table on the other side of the room by the windows so they could look at the pool that was surrounded by palm trees. The waiter came over to give them their menus. "Where is the surprise dad" Bud asked Sid. "There he is son sitting over at the bar.

Sitting at the bar was a famous basketball player bud knew the instant he saw him. It was Sam lewis a legendary point guard for the computer city numberCrunchers. The numberCruchers were part of the Computer city professional basketball association. Sam Lewis had the best scoring season in professional basketball in 1968. He led the league in scoring with 50.3 points per game. Along with 2 steals, 2 rebounds, and 15 assists per game. Sam had long since retired from professional basketball but, he was in great physical shape. "See son this restaurant is owned by Sam Lewis the famous basketball player." "Yes I can see that dad, it an honor just to be able to see him closeup."

The waitress cam over to take their orders. The all decoded to order cheese burgers with fries with a side order of mustard and a cooked potato. And for desert the all wanted cheese cake with whipped cream and ice cream. "Ok, I will get you order to you as fast I can.". Now Bud went back to star watching.

Queen Of Miserable, Page 23

As soon as I saw the morning light I was up and at em. I could not wait to start shooting Ladybug gone green beetle. And what a movie it will be. Then a strange feeling hit me. I think its called uncertainty. I realized that I had an outline of the movie and I had forgotten to write myself some lines. But now one would watch this movie for the script it would be watched for the visual effects.

I decided to spend sometime thinking about what my life would look like after I became a big celebrity director after the release of the movie. I would divorce Tank. I now believe that there is more than one person in the world that will make me miserable so why not leave the man who tried to flatten me on the pavement for someone else. Then maybe I will purchase a house on the hill. Wait after I become rich and famous I am sure I will have no problem marring any man I want. I am sure that that special someone who will make me Yvette Swans the most miserable woman in the world is out there somewhere in the wold on earth or in some alien would yet to be discovered. Marrying a man from another planet now that is interesting.

My parents thought that Tank was from another planet but, I assured then that yes indeed he is from earth no matter what you intuition is telling you. My parents detested Tank they always thought that the was someone out there who would make me happy. I said "mom I don't want a man to make me happy. I want an man who makes me miserable and puts me down so that I won't feel bad when I make him miserable and put him down. Whatever you want to do my darling its your life and you can do want to even if I think its the worst mistake of you life marrying that man. He is ghastly. Vile. And he is the only person who does not like my my fruit cake. I said "Mother no one likes your fruit cake but, Tank is the only one mean enough to tell you the truth and not spare your feelings.

I would get a huge lime and have a driver take me everywhere I want to go. I would spend half my days riding around in my big green limo. And the fact that the limo was green will make everyone miserable because it will be so ugly. Yes I am so great always thinking of ways to make my fellow man/women more miserable. I love that about myself. I had to stop all this thinking about the future and focus on the present and getting the movie made otherwise I would not have billions to waste on frivolous purchases.

Buds Best Years, Page 44

They went thought the line fast as it was short as I just mentioned. The train was a miniature replica of a steam train. Bud and his group entered there seats. And they waited for the train to get loaded.

All the riders were on and the train started up the steep grade to the top of the mountain. Giant puffs of smoke were now coming from the engine as it struggled up the mountain. Much to Buds delight. Then came the steep downgrade and aright curve. Next the train gathered sped on a straightaway for about 1000 yards. Next a upgrade then a downgrade then a series of small hills that made the train feel like a ship on the ocean. Bud was starting to get see sick.

Suddenly the train started to pick up speed as it was going down a steep grade then a straight away. Bud was scream with joy now. But, sadly the ride was coming to an end. The train was stopping and starting now to disembark and embark passengers on the platform. "What a wild ride the was" Bud commented to his family. "Can we go on it again" "No I am sorry son we cannot" Sid said. "We need to get back to the hotel and get ready for dinner" Harriet said.

As the got off the train Bud said "Someday I hope to own my own theme park like this one except with a computer theme." "You can do anything you want sun with a lot of hard work and determination" Sid said. They rushed to get back to the haunted house and then rushed through the house and now they were on the street running back to there hotel as it was getting dark.

Back at the hotel the doorman greeted everyone with a "How are you" Fine everyone said back. They were in full panic mode now. They had a 7:00pm reservation at the computer city island inn and it was now 6:15. "Everyone hurry up and get into you best dress clothes" Harriet commanded everyone. Bud had brought along a tux just for such an occasion. He had never worn it before because he never had occasion to wear it but, now was the perfect time. "Bud you look sharp in that tux" Sid said. They were ready in about 20 minutes and that left them plenty of time to get to the restaurant with time to spare. Bud was starting to wonder what all the rush was about as they were only going out to dinner sure it was a good place to eat but, it was only food after all. Well I will find out shortly Bud thought. As he surly would.

My top five strength's

Men Shopping for Clothing Accessories

1. I can eat a lot of food in a short amount of time.

2. I can drink a can of soda in under 2 minutes, sometimes it huts when I drink it faster otherwise I would drink it faster. I want to be the would fastest soda drinker. I'd settle for the fastest soda drinker in the United states if I had to.

3. I am superficial. If you don't have on the right designer clothes I don't want to be your friend(see the my post on the topic of which friend have I know the longest where I scandalous admit to having no friends, this is why. Not enough good dressers in today's society. I am a clothes horse. Yes, indeed.

4. I'm indecisive. Put me in the soda isle to pick out a drink and I will spend hours trying to decide on a soda that will only take me less than 2 minutes to drink. To may choices does not help me make choices.

5. I like my own company. Not out of choice but, because I am such a vile person and no one wants to hang around me. Oh, yeah and because there are not enough good dressers in today's society.

My favorite pizza place

Round Table Pizza Tweetup

I think pizza hut makes the best pizza. No wait come to think of it round table was the pizza place that I like the best. Its been so long since I have been there that I can't describe the pizza all I remember is that I liked it.

Meeting a famous person but, I did not know he was famous until years later

Football field

I can't think of any famous person I have ever met. I believe Mel Grey came to my elementary school to talk about not taking drugs and alcohol. I probably shook his hand and I do have a tiny autographed photo that I got of him on that day somewhere around here. Of course at the time I had no idea who Mel Grey was or they he was a celebrity.

In case no one know who I am talking about I am talking about Mel Grey the great return man for the Detroit Lions, Houston Oilers. Or the wide receiver for the st. Louis cardinals. I am not sure which Mel grey it was but, I am pretty sure it was a guy name Mel Grey.

An old friend

SALOON, O philoi Oudeis philos Friends There are no friends [installation view], 2008/9

I don't really have any friends that I have know for very long. I am not sure that I have any friends. Someday I will need to get away from this computer and make some friends. I have head friendship can be marvelous. Until then my computer is my best friend and I have known him/her/it for over 2 years now. It always treats me well and never disappoints me.

Queen Of Miserable, Page 22

So I decide then and there that if I made it through the night I was going to shoot Ladybug gone green beetle right here in the middle of nowhere. Fist I need to make it thought the mild summer night. Obviously I did not have to worry about freezing to death. And if I stayed in the car at night I did not have to worry about wild animals getting me so what did I have to panic about. Tank that is who I had to worry about what if he found me out here and thought that he could do away with me and have no one be the wiser. No one knowing that I am gone and no one caring. After all I had brought a lot of misery to peoples lives and some people don't ask me why enjoyed being happy and would like nothing more then to see the queen of miserable gone for good.

With that threat in mind I decided to see if the car would make it to a tree I saw about 100 feet in the distance and mercifully my old car made it. It was only after I stopped the car that I thought hmm, I might not have to be stranded here in the middle of nowhere if I use the spare tire to change the flat one. I looked in the trunk and the spare tire and tools where nowhere to be found. Had I been set up by Tank. It was beginning to look that way.

It was nearing bed time and I could hear the coyotes in the distance. hoowww howw. That was not what I was worried about. I was worried about one Mr. Tank Swans. I walked around my care one last time and decided to turn in for the night. I used some of the fabric I have bought for my movies for a blanket. And I felt sleepy and stated thinking that going to sleep might not be the best thing right now. As I had tank to worry about. Bud, I could not help it and fell fast asleep. The next thing I remember is hearing a truck drive up and the engine stopping as the driver turned the truck off. Could it be tank trying to finish the job he did not at the parking garage. I went into panic mode. What to do, what to do. I decided to lay as still as I could and as it was still dark maybe the driver was just taking a rest stop and had not seen my car. And as it happens that was what happened. Several minutes after the driver stopped I heard the truck start up again and it was gone.

I was alive and thankful. As it was starting to get light I had a hard time getting to sleep as I started thinking about all the fun I was going to have during the day shooting the movie and the panic hit me. What if I was not found and I starved to death or died because of not having enough water. As I had little food or water. But, I was sure someone would find me so I put of that worry and concentrated on how I would shoot the movie.

Buds Best Years, Page 43

The group made their way downstairs. And Bud again was the first person to volunteer to go through the door. And what he found surprised him.

A mist rose from the floor and all he could see were the flashing lights of a disco ball and a bay window in the distance. "What is this, and empty room this is not scary at all. Then as he closed the door bats came flying at him and he covered his face and ducked. He started howling with delight. "Now you are talking" he said. The lights shut off and the song Monster Mash came over the speakers. Just the mommies came rushing at the group from three directions. Whoo whoo whoo the mommies went. Everyone was screaming with delight now. This was scary.

They pushed their way to the windows and on the wall to the right was a door that led to a hallway.

The hallway was covered in webs and they could her the high pitched squeal of bats. "Where does this lead" Bud thought to himself. The group kept walking and suddenly Bud saw a door so he opened it and found the theme park that he saw in the hologram upstairs. It was magical. The same ferris wheel with spider carriages. A merry-go-round with unicorns to ride around on. A fish tank with mermaids. Women in witches costumes patrolling the park as park security.

Bud and the crew decided to go on the spider ferris wheel first. A they had already paid admission to the theme park all the rides were free so all they had to do was wait in like for their turn to get on the ride. The line was moderately long and it took them about ten minutes to get their turn on the ride. Each ride lasted approximately 5 minutes. After which each spider was inspected for trash and then the new riders were allow to enter. Bud said, "I know this ride is going to be amazing I can't wait".

The ride started and Bud screamed whee, yes this is so fun. The ride when round and round with Bud and the crew screaming in delight. The mist rising from the ground made it even more special. It was daytime and bud was still scared. The ride started to slow down and Buds trip on the ferris wheel was coming to an end and he wished it was not but, what could he do except exit the ride.

The next ride they decided to try was the mountain ride which had a train that took everyone to the top of the spooky mountain in the distance. It was a good walk to get to the ride so Bud had time to think. "I wish I could own a theme park like this someday and entertain people and create fun in there lives except why not make it have a electronic theme. Hmm. They could hear the sound of the train as they got closer and closer and they could see that the line was short as not as many people when on this ride because of the walk required to get to it as compared to the rides closer to the haunted house. But, Bud could see that a lot of people were missing out on a solid ride.

Queen Of Miserable, Page 21

After eating all that ice cream I decided to cut my trip to the mall short and head for home. So I ran out to my car started it up and flew through the parking garage waved to the attendant and turned left out of the entrance and headed for home.

I had several pressing issues to think over on the way home. One was how was I going to get my movie shot on Monday with little to no money to shoot it with. I thought why not just use a tripod and some imagination on my part and the imagination on the part of the viewer. Yes, I now had my solution.

The other thing I wanted to consider was should I divorce Tank after what had happened at the shopping mall where he had tried to run me over. He was still the only man that could make me truly miserable so he had that going for him but, he had tried to end my life to cut it short if you will. I kept weighing the his pro's and con's. Sometimes he did make me happy so I put that in the con category. A pro what that I thought he only stayed around me for my money. That made me adore him all the more. He was a superficial man there was no doubt about that and I knew if and when I lost either my money or my looks I would lose tank also.

Just while I was in the throws of these miserable thoughts I suddenly heard a pop and a thump thump, thump. My tire had blown out. I knew I should have gotten new tires as my were worn out and bald but, I did not want to absorb the expense so I took risks. And now I was paying for being so cheap as I was stranded in the middle of now where with a flat right front time and it was starting to get dark and I was starting to get scared.

Now what was I going to do I was in the country and my cell would not get a signal and there were few cars out on this highway at this time of day so I would probably end up spending the night in the middle of nowhere with no television and no internet. I am not a nature person by any means. Walking out on my front lawn is the closest I have ever been to nature and of course driving in the country. But, I never get out of the car in the country I could be attacked by a wild animal. Oh no, I thought I will never make it and Tank will find me dead and be happy well I did not want to make tank happy so I knew I was going to have to make it thought the night whether I want to or not as I had my movie to film in the morning.

I wonder if I could shoot my film out here since I did purchase a solar panel to recharge the video camera.

Buds Best Years, Page 42

As they walked around computer city island they spotted and old Victorian mansion. It looked like a house from a horror movie. Dark and spooky. The sign on the outside read haunted house theme park. Inside the mansion and out back were Halloween themed rides and attractions. The park was open year around because of the mild weather on computer city island.

Bud pointed out the house and said to everyone lets go there. And so it was agreed. They went up to the booth in front and payed the 5 dollars a head admission fee. You could walk around the mansion and have unlined access to rides. So the who party went up to the front door and prepared to enter. Bud volunteered to go first. No one had a problem with this.

As he opened the door Bud could hear spooky whoo whoo whoo sound. As he walked into the house a object that looked like a ghost from a pac-man video game leaped towards which caused him to scream and jump back. "This is good" he thought. The was a stairway to the left and a door to a room on the right. Bud choose to go up the stairway and see what was on the second floor. There were cobwebs every on the trip up the stairs. He heard meowing sounds and suddenly a robotic cat jumped at him. He was liking this better and better. Whoo whoo, he heard and all of the sudden a skeleton touched him on the shoulder. He lurched to his left. Shivering in fear now.

He heard screams and cries for help from the door to his left so he opened the door and strobe lights started flashing and a witch called out to him. What do you think you are doing her sunny. It was made all the more frightening because of a slowly rising fog in the room and yellow light out side the windows. The witch tapped him on the should and the whole group of longIntegers ran from the room in horror. This is great Bud said. Lets go into that room over there.

Bud ran to the door with the psychedelic light flashing on it and quickly opened it. He found a whole room full of robotic skeletons that started to chase him and his family down the hall and into another room. Bud quickly opened the door to that room so that he and the rest of the group would not be over run and heard the sounds of the song Monster Mash and saw the most wonderful theme park the mind could imagine. Or so he thought. What he was actually looking at was a hologram of a imaginary theme park.

The theme park had ferris wheels with giant spiders that people would get in a ride around on the ferris wheel. There where ghosts and mommies, skeleton and black cast roaming the park to scare the customers and a fog in the distance concealing a large mountain. "What a great use of technology don't you think" Bud said. Everyone agreed. Bud turned around and decided to go back down stairs and enter the door to the left of the stairs.