Queen of Miserable novel, Page 14

Next up the shoe store. Sure I could wear sneakers and feel comfortable walking around. Since I enjoy being miserable I prefer high heels. The higher the heels the better I say. 6 inch heels are my favorite as the cause my feet to feel the most discomfort. Thus causing pain and that makes me miserable.

I figured that I needed 7 new pairs of heels. I was replacing my daily shoe wardrobe. Since my favorite color was read and I liked 6 inch heels I would be buying 3 pairs of that type of shoe and 3 pairs of green 3 inch heeled shoes and one pair of sneakers. Hey, a girl can't be miserable can't be miserable all the time.

Oh, yes I also liked to buy my shoes one size to small as the upped the discomfort. I liked to make the clerks who worked in the shoe stores miserable. Or are they called sales associates now. I don't know.

Here is how I made the shoe store clerks miserable. I would first asked them to measure my feet then I would as to try on 20 to thirty different pairs of shoes all the while knowing what pair I wanted usually the first pair I tried on. I am so devious sometimes. It makes me proud to be me. Spread the unlimited source of miserable everywhere I go. How great am I.

After my usual routine I paid for my shoes and what do I see as I walk out the door of the shoe store. My husband Tank. Tank said he had been following me because he has been suspecting that I am having an affair with another man. I was shocked that he would think such a thing. After a brief argument I said if you had suspected me of cheating 2 years ago your would have been write but, I ended that affair over a year and a half ago. So come on Tank I said leave me alone. Unfortunately my revelation that I had and affair as recently as a year and a half ago made him more angry. Why I can't tell you.

Another brief argument ensued where he called me names I don't dare write but, I will. He actually said and I quote "You are the most amazing woman I have ever met. I honestly could not believe my ears. "How dare you say such nice things about me Tank. Shut your mouth." I said. This was not going to end well and since I had my little red wagon in to I could not run away. So we argued some more and he hurled more insults at me. "I can't live without you he said. I said "How dare you say those words to me Tank Swans. How dare you." I was furious at this point. So I said I am leaving this conversation taking my little red wagon and scurrying away. And that ladies and gentlemen I why I married that man. He makes me so miserable I could cry. But, I could not cry at this point as I had my good dress on and if I cried I might get tears on it then the dress would be ruined. So I kept a stiff upper lip until I could get to my car and let my tears flow away from the prying eyes of my adoring public.