The fake astronomer, fiction

The Astronomer who did not know astronomy worked at computer city university. He got his job on the strength of his wonderful personality. His name is William oaks. He certainly tried to look the part. Everyday he sat at his desk in the astronomy department and wrote at his desk.

But, look a little closer and he was doodling. The big decisions of his day where what and where to order lunch and should he stay at his desk until dinner or leave and go home for dinner. Since he was not married or have a girlfriend it was so lonely so most days he stayed at the university past dinnertime.

The only phone calls he made all day were to make dinner reservations on the days that he did not eat the university dinner or to check on movie times. William would go to a move at least once a day at computer city cinema. But, most of his day was spent watching television in his office. His favorite show was called The Talk Show where guest would get on stage and talk about themselves. There was no host. It was just a person sitting in a chair and talking. And when they got tired of talking the would wave and the program would go to commercial and the person would be replaced with another person until the show was over. It was so exciting to William and to a lot of other people according to the ratings because it was the number one show on daytime television.

And one day a week William taught a class on astronomy. Since he knew nothing about the subject he would tell the students that he wanted to have the top student teach as that would help that student and the rest of the students learn more because they were learning from a student and not a teacher who was an expert. So every week he would have best student teach the class. William would sit at his desk and shoot rubber bands into a waste paper basket. He missed more than he made. He liked teaching as it made him feel like he was helping the world and people looked up to him. If only people know that he no teaching what so ever then the might not look up to him but, until they found out he was a fraud he would have a good reputation.

His biggest perk was the house that the university used to lure him to computer city. Every month he would throw a huge party for a whole weekend. William was not much of a teacher but, he knew how to throw a party. He did not send out any invitations but, people just showed up and were welcomed. His neighbors reluctantly accepted his parties because well frankly they had no choice. The music at the parties was legendary. Or was it the stuff of legend.